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Free verse

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in the silence
in the gross understatement of my cynicism and the effect is has on my worldview
it is all a lie that i tell myself
in order to become less affected
affected by the world around me i hide
in a world affected by nothing
i allow nothing to affect me
nothing that is as if that word were a noun
that was a synonym
for what i had but do not any longer
it has passed
it is finished
however
i still feel the rope pulling me
and it tears me into the sea
it is a buzzing chord
do not tell me that it never made a sound
i just never pulled hard enough
and since i tied it too long it did not hold me above the sea and instead let me float in the water of my loneliness
the rope is buzzing again
the rope is buzzing
and i will watch you on stage and wish that i were there with you
instead of in this sea
where tempests are only seen and never felt
and i cannot swim to meet them because i am still tied to this rope
and you will ride your bike across town even in the rain
and it will bring you joy as it brought me joy once
and that is why this rope is buzzing
i cannot scale this cliff face nor can i swim the sea
all i can do it hold this rope and wish
that i had tied it shorter
or tied it longer
or not tied it at all

credits

from Corbad writes an anthology of poems, released April 13, 2011

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Corbad British Columbia

We will sit on the edge of ruin and talk.

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